Emptiness

I feel kinda empty right now. I'm lost at sea, floating around trying to find something to tie myself to. There is a rock, but to tie myself to this rock I need help. There are people on the rock, and they smile, wave, seem nice enough. But, they won't tie me to the rock. So I keep floating around. Other rocks appear, but if I tie myself to these they will either drag me down, or keep me away from the rock where I should be. I know I should be on that other rock, because it is calling me. I can hear it clearly, telling me I must come, that tied to this rock I can do that which should be doing. Every day spent away from this rock is one less day to do what I should be doing. But I need permission to tie myself down, and the seemingly nice people won't do it for me.

So, I feel empty. Lost and abandoned. I could petition them, make them hear me, become an issue that just *has* to be dealt with. But if I do that, even though I will be tied to the rock I should be on, I feel I will be resented for it.

There is a light, far away. A strong light, appealing, something to look at, away from the dark lonely sea. Maybe in that part of the as yet unexplored sea, I will find an even better rock to be on. Maybe. The light is good, but what if it misleads me, and takes me even further away from the rock that I should be on now? I am tempted all the same. I will find something there, but will it be enough. If it is not, it may not be possible to come back.

There is nothing more that I should be doing other than being on that rock. Until I get there, I will always feel empty.

Bad Weather

Living in a country with a variable climate, weather is often a topic for comment and discussion. The last week or so, weather has been cold and snow. Before that it was just bloody cold! First snowfall is always a pretty time, the world looks at peace shrouded in white, and it is so quiet. Cars are off the road, and even when people are out it is as if the snow absorbs all sound.

However, once you are past the prettiness of first snow, comes the tiresome effects. Disruption on a fragile transport system, as roads become unusable, buses are sidelined, trains are re-scheduled or cancelled. As roads are cleared, pathways remain treacherous, with little attention given, they remain covered in ice for many more days. Fresh snowfall compounds the problem, just covering the ice beneath. People complain, it is too cold, too dangerous, too inconvenient. The weather becomes an excuse for not attempting to go to work, leaving those who make the effort to pick up the slack.

I want hot weather back. I'd rather here about people complaining because it is too hot than because it is too cold.

Kindness

Genuine kindness is a rarity in a world where greed dominates. So genuine acts of kindness bring great surprise and are most welcome.

To the bringer of kindness to me today, I am extremely grateful.

Thank you.

Quiet Time

It's quieter today. Less tension, but it is the calm before the storm. On one side things are starting to fall into place, arrangements made, last minute agrements kept to. But this is hardly the way to go on. Things are going to get worse yet. And that's only in my world. As the world of others collapses too, we will all struggle, and what little of society that exists will drgenerate into savagery.

Got to keep going on, it's the only way.

He Huffed, and He Puffed

But he couldn't blow that house down.

Not today, anyway. Who knows what will happen tomorrow?

The Wolves are at the Door

It's trying times, these days. As an individual, the help available for basic survival is virtually non-existent. Over time jobs have been lost due to excessive financial demands which left nothing to actually travel to work, and the bills are getting higher and higher, costs are going up, earnings are going down.

It's a bleak situation, where every day I sit and wonder "Is today the wolves come to the door?" I can hear them circling around, waiting for their opportunity to attack, the pack mentality at work. In the middle of the circling beast, I sit and wait for the sign of attack, hoping I will be ready to defend myself. My armour is on, but will it be enough? Sometimes I think retreat will be the better option. Go underground, into hiding, but who wants to hide for ever? I'd rather fight, but I'm out-numbered, how can I win?

Right now, I'd take a draw. Winning is highly unlikely. I don't want to take any extreme measures, but as a tactic they are available. But is the short term gain for the long term pain really worth it?